3 years and 5 months ago

Not long now, 5 days to be exact, and my house will be filled with roughly 75 people… 30 of which are under the age of 4!

I sat thinking about it during fish’s haircut – I remember the day I peed on that stick, I was shaking like a leaf in a south easterly and praying to every known god for a negative but low and behold… 3 weeks later I was still in utter denial so went for a blood test which of course came back confirming the little life. 6 weeks later was the first scan, I was 12 weeks along and he looked like a nothing but a blip amongst white noise.

Up until that point my family knew nothing, biodad had proudly bragged to his but it took me all those weeks to build up the courage to tell mine, and even then I wasn’t sure I wanted to! I walked into mums office with the envelope containing the scan picture and the document with all the weight details and so on. Sat talking to her for some time before I silently handed over the document. I sat there feeling ashamed, dissapointed in myself and like a complete failure for letting such a stupid thing happen when I’d been brought up to know otherwise.

Mum looked up and said “well, there’s nothing we can do about it now” which is about the same time the damn walls burst and the tears started pouring, I remember mum taking me into her arms and just hugged me for the longest while telling me that everything is okay. Eventually I was okay and we sat down, she picked up the scan and with the faintest smile said “I’m going to be a granny”.

It’s 3 years and 5 months later and she is still my rock, my go to and the one who encourages me to believe it will all be okay even if it isn’t right now it will be. I’m not sure I truly appreciated my mum until that Thursday afternoon, and even though we’ve had some seriously screwed up fights since then I can still turn around and proudly say she’s MY mum. And just for that she already deserves the world of recognition.

And of course, as I mentioned in the beginning, master fish went for a haircut today (just in time for his interview with kidz2000 tomorrow and of course his party on sunday!) he had to be bribed with a biscuit and when it came to taken the dreds out I pretty much had to hold his head but other than that he was a little rockstar!

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