trying to process it…

Just warning you that this blog post is likely to make no sense at all, am using it to try and process what happened to day so that I can get over it cause if I don’t it’s going to keep creeping up on me.

Today started off great, had a lay in till 7 (thanks fish!) then got up to make cupcakes for a friend’s sister’s son’s birthday… long story but somehow agreed to making them at one of our dinnerclub evenings.

Cupcakes done, fetched and out of fish’s clutches it was time to head off to bayside to get my anniversary gift from M – a “muk ‘n druk” hehehe yay me! Been wanting one for so long now and the oopsie with my poor lil Nikon just proved that I NEED one so that I can leave my baby at home when I head off to events and outings etc.

Funny how karma/serendipity/fate/life works out… we were supposed to go to @tishbredekamp’s little girls first birthday party and have been looking forward to it all week seeing as I WANT birthday cake and normal cake just doesn’t quite cut it plus need a dose of the secret society ladies again. Anyway, point is that I have no idea how to get there so grabbed shamus’s garmin only to see the battery is flat – my car doesn’t have power to the dash so no car charger works – so shamus said to take his bakkie as he didn’t need to go anywhere for the day.

Got onto the high way, fish strapped in the front seat playing with my phone, thinking about how effing hot it is and how I so need a glass of the punch that tish made for the adults when it happened. Actually, I can’t even say that because I think I only TRULY realized what was happening/happened AFTER the whole ordeal. Was on the far right lane on the N1 somewhere between plattekloof and durbanville, I remember looking over at fish and laughing at something he’d said then in my side view mirror as I wanted to change lanes so that the asshole riding my arse could pass. I remember seeing pieces of tire but not thinking anything of it seeing as it’s the highway after all – then the car started pulling.

The thing about a blown tire is that the car starts pulling towards the side of the car where it burst, in my case the left hand side. It’s amazing how quickly your mind is able to react, in a few seconds you’re able to assess the situation and make a decision, perhaps not always a rational one but there is that protective instinct, I think mine more so with being a mum and a trained medic.  I hit breaks and tried to compensate for the pull, both these things I think I did too hard and too fast but then as I said, it happens in seconds.

You know that thing about your life flashing before your eyes when you think you’re about to die? It’s absolute and utter bullshit! The only thing that flashed before my eyes was the sight of an oncoming highway barrier and the trees behind it; I remember throwing my arm out towards fish to hold him in as I thought we were going to roll when I felt us finally connect.

Everything after that is pretty much a blur, I know that there was a nurse talking to me trying to calm me down and some other guy who stopped and moved the canopy out of the road (somehow it had been ripped off), I wish I could remember the nurses name or that I’d asked her for her details so I could send her a bunch of flowers or something – she stayed with fish and I until the tow-drivers came. Only reason I know she was a nurse is because she was in uniform. It was a dark blue… do hospitals have different colours? Maybe I can track her down.

1500km’s away and he’s still able to help. M is amazing, and if I didn’t know it before then I do know, this man is a keeper, he’s one in a million. And I don’t know what I’d have done if he wasn’t on the other end of the line sorting things out for me and trying to keep me calm. Like you most of all xxx

Fish and I are fine, his face is a little bruised where my fist obviously connected with his cheek (I want to cry every time I see it) but he was running around as normal and only just fell asleep now. The mummy has whiplash and achy muscles, a few bruises but otherwise in good condition.

The bakkie… well not so much – left back tire blown, right front tire in sy moer, right back tire might need replacing, front right panel fucked, canopy ripped off… and before you even ask: no, I don’t have insurance.

When I think about it now I know that it could have been a lot worse; we could have rolled or I could have lost all thought and not compensated for the swerve letting the car cross 4 lanes and taking out how many other vehicles. Fish and I are alive, somewhere out there we have a guardian angel working over time.

And maybe a little cliché but take my advice, go and tell the people you care about that you do. Things happen in mere seconds that we don’t plan for. 

And yes… I am STILL wanting birthday cake!


5 thoughts on “trying to process it…

  1. Pingback: an update on THE list… | cupcakemummy and fish

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