getting lost in the mother city

First day back in the mother city and I feel out of sorts. Yes it’s good to be back in my “comfort zone” but I miss M and for some reason Cape Town just feels “bleh” no idea why. I look at the gorgeous mountain and have that feeling of it’s a flat rock again. Kind of the same as when I got back from Germany I guess.

Of course I missed my friends and family and the ocean but I don’t know. It’s as if I’ve just come back to this place where I am stuck. Not happy with it. I’m bored and I need to get back into the swing of work so that I can keep my mind busy. Above all else I would LOVE to go back to studying, I want to finish my paramedic studies but *sigh* that would mean coughing up 3 years of tuition and it would also mean I can’t work as it’s full time – meaning who is going to pay living expenses…

My life is a catch 22 at the moment. I can’t really work till I finish my studies but I can’t finish my studies as I have to work. Worst is that I know fish’s sperm donor is living comfortably in the UK somewhere while the government pays for all his living and studies… makes me wonder how fair life really is.

BUT on a more positive note… THIS is my year, maybe I can’t study or do what I really want to do BUT it doesn’t mean I am going to let this be another downer of a year. I am going to show this year what I’m made of.  Watch this space I tell you.

I already have fish on the potty training mission, I’m fixing up my house as much as I can with what little I have and I am on a positive train of note. I’ve started this year off with two special people and there is no way I am letting it go downhill.

So here is to trying to rid that horrid feeling of being stuck and here is to my CV finding the right company ;) and till that happens here is to MOUNTAINS of temp work from get stuff done and shoots with red dot photography. And of course above all… here is to many trips and visits with my Mr and little fish <3


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