dear fish…

Let me give you a little bit of advice, and this tidbit might just be the most important thing you ever learn. NEVER upset or anger a woman and most importantly never EVER piss her off.

See here’s the thing… an upset woman will vent to her friends and forgive you, an angry woman will require a lot of groveling and flowers but eventually she’ll forgive you, a pissed off woman on the other hand will plot vengeance.

And then what is probably the most obvious piece of advice, if you DO happen to piss off a woman (good luck) make sure she is the only one you cross because if you happen to leave a string of women in this state of mind they will somehow find each other and conspire against you.

Now know this, the media might love to portray women as meek and helpless but I’ll have you know that they are far from. You never cross a woman. We are the bitchiest and most hateful of the two sexes. Yes I said it. We are mean and insulting to one another so when we do form friendships best you be weary because a circle of women bound by friendship is strong, they stand up for each other, they vent and cry to each other and you can bet your last dollar that all your dirty secrets are known amongst them.

The only thing you’ll have to fear in your life (other than your mum of course) is a circle of women brought together by a united front. It doesn’t matter from what walk of life they come from, when they are brought together, particularly by a shared male influence, well boy… I wish you all the best in trying to survive that one.

Love you always, mum xxx

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