being an only parent. the pros and cons.

I was asked recently to make a list of the pros and cons of being an only parent (where the biodad is not involved at all). At first I couldn’t only think of cons and then I realised what a good exercise this actually was for me as it made me really think about it and realise that there are actually pros even though it doesn’t always feel like it.

So here is my little list. Feel free to add to it in the comment section if you’re in the same boat and feel I’ve missed something out.



  • There is no financial support whatsoever
  • I can turn around and proudly say that I am actually managing without help and that I do not owe him ANYTHING ever
  • The sleep deprivation that comes with looking after a sick child and not having someone to share night shifts with
  • Being the one that he comes to comfort for when he’s not feeling well
  • Every man that comes into his life leaves a very heavy in pact making dating very difficult as he gets attached to them so very quickly
  • He actually has amazing stable men in his life that may not be his dad but who are ten times the man his father could ever be and are such amazing role models
  • Being the mom and the dad 24/7
  • Never having to share his love
  • He doesn’t have that constant DAD attention that boys need
  • He’ll grow up an amazing husband as he’ll know how to cook and clean
  • Potty training a boy…
  • The pride you feel when you manage to train him and he actually pee’s standing up!
  • Trying to answer those boy related questions
  • Erm… yeah, don’t think there’s a pro to that.
  • I don’t get a break.
  • He only knows my family
  • Not having to be around biodad’s hypocritical family!
No matter how difficult it is, no matter how many nights I cry myself to sleep wondering how we’ll make it through the month or how much I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if things had worked out differently I wouldn’t change a thing. Fish and I are better off without biodad around, we don’t have to deal with his abuse and degrading behaviour or have him holding rules and regulations over us. I am able to raise my son to be the man that any women would be proud to call hers.  And to me, that above all else, tops any con I can think of.


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