happy “fathers” day

So as you can imagine, today is not very high on my list of favourites. Perhaps it’s the fact that it was sunshine this morning so I happily put my washing on the line and of course now the rain is making sure it’s washed properly or maybe it’s the fact that I never get a day off, not even on a Sunday… or maybe, just maybe it’s the fact that it’s father’s day and every single media object and store front is rubbing in the fact that I clearly wasn’t enough of a person for fish’s dad to stick around.

I know that I am doing way better without him and I am so thankful to all my friends and family for the support but unless you’re a single parent you don’t really know how this day makes us single mummy’s feel. Thankfully (or maybe not) I have a few friends who themselves are single mums, @tash_wen being the closest in distance and also the gorgeous lady who invited fishface and I to the spur for breakfast this morning <3

There are so many dads out there who do what they’re supposed to. They do more than provide the baby batter and then ditch. They’re there for the long haul. They’re the dads who show up for parent/teacher conferences. The dads who hug their kids. The dads who buy maxi pads and tampons without protest. The dads who don’t take a sullen teenager’s angst as an insult, but as a challenge to better their parenting skills and in turn, strengthen the relationship they have with that teen.

Fishness is so very fortunate to have lots of these dads in his life. The “squatters” in our house who treat him like a son and brother, the fathers of my friend skids especially B who will always make time to kick a ball around with him when we’re there. My stepdad, his uncle Rudi, the nanny’s husband who he refers to as “daddy” and even my own father. The world is full of good men, and I’m thankful as hell that my boy comes in contact with some of them almost every day.

I’m tired. Being both mom and dad 98% of the time is exhausting. My life is a milkshake of driving, parenting, cleaning, shopping, bill-paying, and working. But then when you get messages like this on twitter you can’t help but smile and mentally give every “sperm donor” out there the finger…

So, here is not only to the dads out there (because there are a few who really do deserve credit) but also to all the mums out there who are not only the mother but the dad as well!

@Nicki_dadic added the perfect little quote on her father’s day competition (if you are in Jozi go enter, even the singlemum’s are allowed to!) yesterday and I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing it here with you now:

Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride. – ANON

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2 thoughts on “happy “fathers” day

  1. Oh LAWDY do I hear you!!
    This was me for 17 years!! In fact, after a few years, my family started buying me fathers day gifts and cards in recognition of the fact that I- like you- never had a day off.
    I think you’re phenomenal and your boy is happy and healthy.

  2. …” that I clearly wasn’t enough of a person for fish’s dad to stick around.” … <— this is SO wrong! Don't you dare think that this is a reflection on you and that you are somehow deficient. HE is the deficient one. He's a worthless, useless piece of crap of the very worst kind so don't even think about measuring your self worth by the fact that he abandoned you and his helpless, innocent son. That selfish, cowardly act speaks volumes about HIS character, not yours.
    You are fabulous in every way – BELIEVE IT with all your heart!
    xxx

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