There are few things more permanent than a name

This morning yet another follower asked me why I refer to Fish as “fish” and not by his given name. Most people think it’s so we stay anon on the net, this is partly true but anyone with half a brain could figure out our identity pretty easily.

Truth is that I never refer to him by his given name name, there are the odd occasions yes I suppose but they are few and far between.

So why fish then?
Because I despise his given name with a passion…


Things with the biodad started going south about the time I fell pregnant, probably before then already but seeing as he blatantly denies his cheating even when the evidence has him by the balls I guess we’ll never know. Well this little rift between us seeped into EVERYTHING. Including the choosing of names. Though my dear family also had a hand in this naming thing…

Every name I suggested was shot down and ridiculed. I wanted Velkan. I would march on over to the department and change it today if it where possible. But of course it was shot down because who wants a kid named after a bird… Well how about Hunter? Are you stupid… And Griffin? No, Harry Potter is gay….

Are you seeing where this is going?

Well finally after being told “NO! urgh…” so often I decided to make a joke and suggested NOAH. Well guess what…
It became a bit of a joke, a nickname as such. The day he was born we were still argueing about names and I was still adamant on Velkan. The problem with having a prem baby, an abusive biodad and PND is that you throw your hands up and say “fok voort” just to make life a little easier for yourself – stupid mistake.

It’s 3 years down the line and I would rather call my child FISH than give in and refer to him by his certificate name. I despise it. Always have and if I haven’t gotten used to it by now I guess it’s safe to say I never will. Even he knows himself as Fish. At least I was smart enough to insist he gets my surname…

Anyone else in this boat or am I just a stupid psycho mum?



19 thoughts on “There are few things more permanent than a name

    • Don’t think it’s possible sadly. Even if I removed his 3rd name, hyphenated Noah and Sean so he doesn’t completely lose it and make his first Velkan. He’s a carbon copy of Ashley looks wise, which is like a knife to the gut and his name is the equivellant to someone twisting the knife

  1. I don’t hate my daughter’s name but wish I had stuck to my guns. I wanted Miriam after my granma but everyone hated it and ended up compromising with Miri, a lovely name but a bugger for strangers to pronounce… “Mary” “Mira “Mia” ugh!

    Have you tried home affairs for renaming? Sure I saw a form for that there.

    • I need to actually go and find out. I looked on the site but that was just a waste of time.
      Miriam is such a beautiful name, reminds me of a princess with long flowing locks and little flowers in her hair. At least Miri is a close second xxx

  2. I love the nickname and I wasn’t smart enough to give Aiden my surname, so his certificate says Aiden Mckay Smith but he goes by Aiden Mckay and for some strange reason I need sperm donors permission to change it :(

    • I’m concerned that I’ll need biodads signature as well seeing as he’s not in the country and we haven’t heard from him in over a year. But I’m hoping that because he has my surname that won’t be too much of an issue

  3. I hope you don’t need biodad’s signature if you loathe it that much, but changing it is certainly an option. Do it quick before he gets any older and the department of education has him on their records with “Noah” (which I rather like, just so you know :P).

  4. I also quite like the name Noah, but can totally understand why you don’t. Names and the feelings memories they invoke are so personal.

    I like Little OL’s name. It’s Kaylin but she refuses to call herself that. Ever since she has started saying her name it has been Taylor. If anyone asks her what her name is she says Taylor. She is adamant. Thankfully she does not object if we call her Kaylin, just if we say “your name is Kaylin – then she will “correc”t us. I have to catch myself from not calling her Taylor.

  5. I think my sitaution was so diffrent that I really can not comment but I love our kid’snames – only regret is that the first born’s name (German in origin) is unpronouncable in English and she is called Annika by lack of the correct pronounciation. Believe me with the twin we thought about hat too. I was just adamant that their first names are the names they are called because mine is not and the issues I have with that is crazy!

    And I understand your issue with his names but both Noah and Sean are good names – actually I love Noah!

  6. Jess And Coral – your child was born out of wedlock. You can change their first names and second name and surname whenever you want ( at a minimal cost)> I changed my sons surname and my friend has changed her sons surname and in the process of doing the ifrst name too.

  7. You know what? Maybe he will change his name one day when he is older. :) Sometimes that happens. My mother in laws name was Rose when she was a child. She didn’t look like a rose or feel like a rose. So as soon as she was old enough she changed it.

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