day one done. only the rest of my life to go…

I had to stop taking my meds end last year as with not working full time I simply cannot afford the costs (being sane comes with one hell of a price – a monthly R2000 price tag actually) anymore. It’s tough, hell I think that tough is an understatement. It’s literally like being strapped into a rollercoaster you can’t get off of. There are good days and there are bad days but it’s not just that because when I have them they vary from one extreme to the next.

My moods aren’t fluid. I can be so angry I am in tears one minute and then with the flip of a hat I am ecstatic. It makes life hard and I sit in awe daily of those who put up with me, I really don’t know how they cope seeing as I barely do. Even Fysh has more patience than any 3 year old should have for their parents.
Last week I ended up on a site where I started chatting to a few “like-minded” people who have pretty much managed to sort of “control” their ups and downs with the diet that they are one as well as a certain amount of physical activity.

Every so often I set out on some or other new diet to lose the kg’s that make me want to throw a punch at a mirror every time I walk past or burn every photo I see. Yes my issues run deep, we know this already though. But for the most part I quit.

Last week I made a conscious decision to change things, the way I live and eat and whatnot, not so much for me (well a lot for me) but for those around me because I can’t just think of myself. I’m not on a diet, even though I think most would label it as one and I guess that any strict dietary choice is technically a diet I am not on one. I am on a mission, I have an end goal in mind and it’s a long term one. None of this “I will lose so many kg’s a week” thing.

Today I started the Jump start 7 day detox which is basically just juiced fruit and veg for a week, it’s a real kick up the ass because there is no eating, no snacking. Not even caffeine. I’m going to be cranky for a while me thinks… but this is just the start, when this is over its back to my vegetarian/vegan ways which I only stopped because people always made me feel like it was a hassle to cater for me but I am at the point now where you cater for me or just don’t invite me around.
My health over others convenience.

Aaaaaaaand I started running again last week. Well, walking really fast on the elliptical thingum on which I clock 10km a day – mostly thanks to @tash_wen who has become my own personal cheerleader. It’s really a great feeling being surrounded by people rooting for you.

Here is to this working, to being able to feel the semblance of what normal is and in the long run I guess to losing a few extra kg’s and being healthy again.

If you’re on a diet – best of luck!
If you’ve done the whole diet/exercise instead of pills thing , let me know how it worked/is working out.
And if you’re one of those normal people with a fast metabolism *cough* the stillettomum *cough* then go eat a frigging carrot stick and choke :P

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2 thoughts on “day one done. only the rest of my life to go…

  1. Well, it certainly doesn’t sound like it’s going to be easy for the next few days, but if anyone can do it, I think it might just be you! The veg juice thing sounds stupid to me, but what do I know. Guess it’s worth a damn good try. And kudos on the exercise – something else I’m too slack about. You got it all going for you there – switch your thoughts off and JUST DO IT. :-)

  2. HA to the end! I am on my fourth day of the Elimination Diet, which removes all allergens from the diet to help the dieter determine which foods are making her feel like crud. I feel much better today, so far, than the prior days! As a bonus, I have already lost a few pounds, too.

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