I am being pulled in two directions right now. Absolute gut-twisting anger and complete bad-mommy depression.
Fysh and I have been struggling in the mornings, as of late he’s been brilliant after school and we have had no arguments or temper tantrums etc but in the mornings things all go to hell the moment we walk in at the school gates. He cries and says he doesn’t want to go to school, he’s even piped up that he’ll stay home alone with Joonbug (the dog). This of course means we become a frustrated mess of him crying and me becoming short tempered.
Now I struggle with my temper and frustration on a daily basis and so does Fysh, you can say that those emotions of mine never really got much of a cap on them, like a toddlers and when you put two toddlers together you know what happens. I’m the adult and as his school put it “should be the adult and the bigger person” but that isn’t always easy. Yes Fysh gets a smack when he’s naughty and I often comment “the fuck?” when he’s done something he shouldn’t but to be told I abuse my son? That I swear at him and hit him all the time < this is a through the grapevine I got from the school an hour ago.
Yeah well this had me phoning the school demanding what the actual fuck.
This morning Fysh and I were having another kak one (to top it off I’m on day two of an epic migraine) and I was getting frustrated cause he wanted the bag out the car but then started crying once in the class cause he doesn’t want the teachers and he doesn’t want his bag at school so I told him to make up his effing mind. Another parent decided to get her stupid ass involved and piped up “for gods sake don’t use that language”… yes I laughed at her, called her a fucking hypocrite and turned my back to her.
First off, if I want to swear in front of my kid you fucking let me okay? My child does not swear and he knows it’s big person words. When he’s older he can decide for himself, like smoking and drinking. Secondly, I didn’t smack him this morning we just got frustrated with each other but I sure as the stars come out at night was about this close to smacking that parent.
Under no circumstances is it EVER okay to automatically assume and judge anyone as a parent.
My kid is happy, healthy, smart (sometimes too clever for his boots), he eats well, has manners and is generally well mannered. So if I swear around him does that make me a shitty parent? Maybe, but it sure as fuck does not make me abusive. Why would he want to stay with me instead of go to school if I was huh?
Fysh and I have a complicated relationship and we do the best we can, I don’t think parenting is easy for anyone and doing it alone and not having someone to share the shit with definitely doesn’t make it any easier either.
So far I think we’re doing a pretty fucking okay job and I most definitely do not appreciate hearing things like this.