left behind. again

I guess that when I go to have my ink touched up on Friday I can get C to add another bird to it. Why? Because this evening I found out that I’ve been left behind by another friend. He decided that life was simply too much.

I found out right before I got home and before I could even let it sink in I walked into a hostile environment where I was verbally attacked (a blog post all on it’s own) when all I wanted was to be left alone, to try wrap my head around it. I think the last time I was so emotionally overwhelmed with grief and  anger that I didn’t even feel my knuckles connect with the wall (which are now bruised and possibly broken) was the last time I’d lost a friend.

I’ve had some time to let it sink in now. I spent an hour crying at the park while Fysh played on all the park things. Then another good breakdown in the kitchen. I’m sure the tears will attack at the most random and inconvenient times for a while still. I’mtrying to remember the good things but it’s tough right now.

Grateful to have my minion who crawled up onto my lap now and told me he loves me to infinity and beyond. He’s my light in the dark.

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6 thoughts on “left behind. again

  1. Keep your chin up lovely. I know that that sounds impossible right now, but as time goes on it will get easier. It is never easy when we lose someone we love. Next week brings the anniversary of when I lost someone close to me. It was incredibly difficult for me as she was only 6 years old and it was the first time I had encountered such a young death. Being 22, I have been fortunately spared with only the losses of my Nanna and Grandad, as well as a few elderly relatives, but it makes it so much more difficult when it is well before someone’s time to go. I feel your pain and I’m still grieving but we have to stay strong. I’m sending you all of my love from the UK.

  2. So so sorry for your loss. Don’t know what to say to you to make you feel better, but just know that I am sending positive thoughts your way. Hope your hand heals quickly.

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