Ever have the feeling that things are just too loud and too close, too pink and too bright, too scratchy or just plain too much of much?
Today is that day.
Today is one of those days I don’t like being me, where I despise being me actually.
Today I fail at fighting the fog.
When you fall asleep crying over not being able to fall asleep a little lights start going “oh deary”. Then when a trucking hooting at a taxi can send you into tears on your way to work you know that the day if just going to be a big fat lump of fuck it.
Then to make my shitty day even better Fysh’s teacher corners me (in public) and tells me oh but I owe them 3 months of school fees. Say fucking what?! Firstly, take me a aside or send me an email, I do NOT deal with confrontations well, I don’t know how I didn’t manage to stay calm-ish cause just thinking about it has me crying again. Secondly, I know I owe her one month as there was a month that I couldn’t pay so a friends company said they would and then they never did leaving me in the shit. But 3 months? What the actual fuck woman. And this after I paid extra in ON TOP of the already yet a-fucking-gain UPPED school feels this month. What was I saying about homeschool again?!
The biggest problem of all? I have people who seriously care about me and my life is so full of GOOD right now but the hugs are too far away and the fog is too dark to see through.
I honestly don’t even know why I’m here today.