For those who don’t know what #OOTD stands for – outfit of the day.
It’s a really big thing among fashion bloggers apparently, I was tagged by greenlydia to post my #OOTD but like her I am no fashion blogger, sure I’ve posted an awkward mirror selfie when I’m wearing something that makes me feel good but I could never have someone take a photo of me everyday to show off what I wear. Mainly because A) that would mean I have to let people take photos of me B) I’d need to actually plan and think about what I’m going to wear (come on people, I wash my face with soap, SOAP people) and C) Y’all would expect me to wear shoes.
So where I take my hat off to those who have the patience and the passion for it I think I’ll leave it to them and rather take a leaf out of Lydia’s book.
This is what I really wore today…
I like to think I see the world with a hint of childlike wonder and that we all should because kid’s somehow always see the best in things. Life is black and white to them, they only want because that’s what we teach them. They can make planes out of boxes and guns out of sticks. Their lives are simpler, maybe ours could be as well if we stopped complicating them.
Before The Person I never would have believed I was worthy of love, real love, good love. Yes I have Fysh who loves me but he’s my own, he’s obligated to love me. The Person though has shown me that despite my fears and self loathing there is something there to love. So today I wear love, because he reminds me I am worth it.
I worked so hard to cultivate the figure I had and over the past few month’s I’ve let myself go. Though I haven’t really put on weight I haven’t been to gym which means all that muscle I built is now flab and for that I am carrying embarrassment with me.
I walk with stubborn curiosity wearing boots of determination because today I decided to faff around on something and it bugged me that I didn’t get it right so I sat with it until I did only to be told that what I did in a day is what took him a few months. It’s not always good pants to wear or boots to walk in, they can get you in trouble and they can leave behind footprints people get jealous of and jealous people are nasty but you’ve just got to carry on walking in them anyway.
So this is what I wore today, but today was an easy day though, most days aren’t this easy; most days I wear shame, hurt, discombobulation, self loathing, hurt, pain, disgust and darkness. Most days aren’t like today. Today was a good day.