the voices in my head

It’s been a good week in the sense of good things happening but I’m not feeling it. Gym makes me happy and I’m excited to be back but at the same time it’s at boxing that I can feel all the weight I put on most, it slows me down, my muscles are weak and I want to cry an hurt myself for giving it up in the first place.

My mind keeps yelling me “look at what you’ve done” even though I’m being told I‘m doing great.

Yesterday out of the blue Fysh gave me a kiss and told me I look pretty and even though I said thank you I looked at myself in the mirror and just wanted to vomit. This is something I’ve struggled with my whole life, I’m glad I’m surrounded by supportive people but it doesn’t quiet the thoughts in my head


2 thoughts on “the voices in my head

  1. Keep on listening to Fysh’s voice. Let him be the light when darkness tries to take over. He is a good little person and you are good person. We all struggle with voices in our heads, though for some people it is louder and more vicious than for others, the battle will always be in the mind. Focus on the good, the light, the love and allow those who love you as you are carry on loving you.

  2. People say whatever they like which you can’t really do much about. Very sad though. It’s like telling an infertile just relax or go on an holiday and you will fall pregnant!!! How naive

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