all about us

Where to start?

Well we may as well start with the obvious: I am an only parent (not a single one though I am that as well. This is important and I’ll do a post about it in the future as I feel strongly about the distinction between the two) to a boisterous 3 year old boy who is the epitome of noise and dirty fun.

Fysh and I live in a gorgeous old fashioned home in Table View with our border collie (Joonbug) and our hedgehog (Mr Pricklesworth Jnr) and occasionally we share our home with a bunch of rowdy sailors and a cat or three.

Life as an only parent is trying, things are tough and yet they are beautiful at the same time. Having Fysh at such a young age was never in my life plan, actually having children at all was never in my life plan but then again we are all acutely aware of how “plans” tend to go now don’t we.

At age 22 (well over a year after the sexy little brat graced my life with his noisy love) I was diagnosed with (get ready for it) adult ADHD, manic depression, social phobia, anxiety, Aspergers and sensory sensitivity – A lot to cope with on top of trying to find myself as a person and a parent I will admit. But now (2 years later) we are coping a lot better, Fysh and I get along, perhaps not in the conventional parent/child sort of way but we are maneuvering our way through this parenting thing together.

Aspergers syndrome or AS is on the same spectrum as autism, though is not as well known or publicised.
There are certain difficulties that those with Aspergers tend to struggle with and these often lead to people seeing them as obsessive or eccentric. Life as a mum with Aspergers raising a ‘normal’ child is definitely an interesting adventure. One filled with laughter, tears and pockets full of contradictions.

There are a few of these difficulties that make having a boisterous boy full of energy and noise trying at times. Most difficulties that those on the spectrum tend to experience are due to the normal senses being that much sharper, almost as if they are on overdrive: Sight, sound, smell, and touch. For me the worst is physical touch, even though I try and avoid this in general because I have to mentally prepare myself for a hug and so on I have days where it is so extreme that I am not able to withstand people touching me at all. This tends to be a real problem as my sons comfort object has always been me and getting him to sleep without letting him hold my hand is a difficult feat even at the age of 3. Sound sensitivity to certain tonal pitches makes it difficult to have a simple conversation on a cellphone or withstand being in large crowds for extended periods though smell also plays large parts here as crowds tend to carry pungent odors with them.

There are times though that I am beyond thankful that I have Fysh to use as an ‘excuse’ for my oddities, that when he is around people are less likely to stare or point out that I am behaving “childish” whereas I see it as fun – a great example would be a recent outing to a local mall where we ran down one of the corridors playing “mommy is a monster” – he got tired and we ended up sitting on the floor ‘resting his brain’ as he refers to it. Though I am certain he loves my quirky ways now, I am sure we’ll have to reassess that love when he is 16 and I’m dragging him to the beach barefoot to crunch muscle shells.

A cocktail of medications keep me ‘happy and sane’ as friends joke, as well as regular visits to my psychiatrist. Though I am supposed to see a psychologist a few days a week as well it is simply not an option as sanity comes at a rather steep price and it is already a struggle to afford the medications, visits and raising a child on a single income. Blogging has helped tremendously in replacing the non-existent psychology visits, it’s a space where I can vent my frustrations, explore my thoughts and hopefully even raise awareness that the children with ‘special needs’ that parents blog or talk about grow up and actually integrate into society. Or at least we try to…

40 thoughts on “all about us

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  4. I actually really enjoy your blog! I like the fact you are recording life. This is one sure way of learning, which is refreshing as all I see are people being spoonfed! Good on you! And your kid is disgustingly photogenic! :) Im following you! :)

    • Think i am far too stubborn to be spoonfed in all honesty. Even if i had the chance to change things i wouldn’t and even if things were easier i’d still head on out there head first into finding new and exciting things.
      we live this life once.
      hahahaha yes he is, i have no idea where he gets those looks from, best i teach him about the birds and the bees from an early age before the girls start fawning all over him!

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  6. Dear ‘cupcakemummy’

    Hope this mail finds you well.

    We are writing to you to let you know about how much we love your blog and that we really appreciate what you are doing for the parenting community. We would also love to take this opportunity to let you know about this great initiative that you might want to participate in and share with your friends, family and loved ones.

    Dettol is trying to raise funds for the Children’s Hospital Trust, which is an initiative to upgrade medical wards B1 and B2 at the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital. We are also trying to open up a platform for young mothers to share their knowledge on parenting and good childcare (ranging from infants to toddlers and to teenagers). We will be doing this through the launch of a new South African website for Dettol, as well as utilize social media platforms through an official Facebook page where will be featuring a Q&A section for mothers to communicate and exchange information with regards to parenting news and healthy childcare. We would like to get many mothers, like you, involved and come together to push this fabulous idea.

    All of us at Dettol believe that you would be a great brand ambassador as you have a fantastic and insightful parenting blog. We believe you have a great influence on bringing mothers who really care about healthcare together, and that your blog may help us raise the correct awareness of what Dettol is trying to do in the parenting community. We would like to take this opportunity to ask you if we would be able to advertise our mission on your blog? You would be able to do so by letting us advertise via banners that will lead to our website and Facebook page on your blog space and in return we would be able to post direct links to your blog on our Facebook wall. This way your blog and our initiative will gain positive exposure online and gain great status which will help us achieve our good parenting goals and inform others of our great initiative.

    Keep up the fantastic work! We are looking forward to hear from you.

    Waiting in anticipation.

    Yours sincerely,
    NXT\ Digital Innovation
    (Agency for 2012 Dettol Campaign)

  7. Two reasons why I’m so glad that I found you, 1…Your comedy around antidepressants and all….2….Photography….I have bn battling postnatal depression for the past 8months and I am totally in love with photography, though I work as an engineer.

    • PND is not an easy thing to deal with. wish you luck and just know that you are not alone, there are so many mums out there who are happy to talk and help you through it xxx

  8. Hello. I randomly came across you on twitter and just spent a good time on your blog. It’s as if the universe put you in front of me. I am raising a son well two actually but my oldest son is high functioning autism. I blog about raising him and the learning experiences he teaches about life. PLease take a look. Be well, Gretchen
    ps. we use to live in Seattle and recently made our way cross country to DC.

  9. I saw some conversations between you and my friend on twitter and really enjoyed reading your blog. really sorry about your hours being cut in half… just a thought, have you ever considered doing selling cupcake courses? i know someone that does it here in jhb and it really makes a difference to her life financially. you are so talented… you can easily inspire people through your passion.

  10. Hi ‘Cupcake Mommy’,

    I am part of the publicity team at Penguin Books SA and just wanted to get in touch to let you know how much we love your blog! We also wanted to find out if you would be interested in reviewing parenting and / or children’s books on your blog?

    Looking forward to your response!

    Kind regards,

    Jean

  11. oooooh am so happy to have found your blog!!! Especially as you are”from my neck of the wood” (saw your comment on Happy Little Kiwi heehee) Awesome awesome AWESOME blog xxx

  12. Hi my name is Obakeng Maimane, I am an Account Assistant at Atmosphere Communication.
    I came across your blog and thought it will be of interest to add you to our database for one our client Nestle.

    Can you kindly give me more information about your blog, such as.
    • What you write about
    • And what is your online page impression/ unique browser per month

    I look forward to your response

    Thanks

    Obakeng
    Account Assistant
    Atmosphere Communications
    http://www.atmosphere.co.za
    @atmospherecomms

    A member of the Public Relations Organisation International (PROI) http://www.proi.com

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  14. Hi there. I didn’t want to be rude and drink your coffee, eat your cupcakes and leave so just to let you know have been following you for months on twitter and had your blog in my reader but just got to reading now. Promise to read more in future!

  15. Hi there Your blog was recommended by a friend as my 3yo son has been diagnosed with mild Autism. Also live in Tableview and also used to raise hedgehogs. I’ll be looking for your pink hair in the area (but not in a stalkerish kind of way) so that I can meet you in person. Thank-you for the cupcake, it was delicious, refreshing and inspiring.

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